No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; He’ll always be there to help you come through it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG)
DETERMINED, SELF-MOTIVATED, DRIVEN, FOCUSED
These are all words that I have used to describe myself. When I set my mind on a thing, I had always been able to accomplish my goals. I would boast of the goodness of God and how He graced me to do all things well in my occupation and my everyday life. When doubtful others approached me about their endeavors, I was their encourager. I would put on my winning smile and boldly proclaim something similar to this: “When God appoints you to do a thing, He will provide you with all you need. He is the God of more than enough and He will never leave you, or forsake you. This is your time to take Him at His word and walk by faith. Trust that He will make a way. When it is done, everyone will know that this was of God.” Sound familiar? We “Christians” can really turn it on sometimes. The truth of the matter is, though I believed every word that I said to them, there was an area in my life where I was not applying the word. I was not DETERMINED, SELF-MOTIVATED, DRIVEN, or FOCUSED. At least, not enough to finish the task. My struggle is my weight.
I’m sure that I’m not the only person struggling in this area, though I often feel like I am. You probably try to cover your insecurity the same way that I do. I strut around in front of others talking about how I embrace my curves. My motto has been, “Big Girls Do It Better”! I don’t know what “it” is that we supposedly do better, except maybe hide our true feelings. Honestly, I hate being overweight. Privately, I shed tears and beat myself up emotionally because I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. It’s not who I am. But it’s all I see. So I attempt to change it. I have tried to lose weight many times and I always start out great! I lose a few pounds. I feel amazing and people start to notice. My confidence increases… and then it happens, plateau. What happens next? I quit. This cycle had taken a toll on my confidence and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Recently, depression and sadness turned into anger and frustration, unleashing a new, burning desire and determination to lose the weight. That’s when God begin to reveal the pieces of the puzzle to me.
God has placed in each of us a gift package. It’s what we were purposed and placed on this earth to do. The enemy knows this and his desire is to kill, steal, and ultimately destroy us before we realize our purpose. You see, God showed me that the weight gain is merely a distracter. It’s not about the weight because that, in and of itself, shouldn’t stop me from fulfilling my purpose. The goal of the enemy was to attack my confidence and cause me to lose my identity. The lack of confidence made me too insecure to step into the very thing God had for me. Therefore, every time I attempted to focus on my weight and get it under control, I fell short and gave up. The attack was strong, but my focus was on the wrong thing. I had to be broken.
God was ready for me to step into my GREATER! I had to be broken in order to let go of the superficial and focus on the spiritual. Though I have embarked on another weight loss journey, it is about so much more than losing weight. It’s about regaining my confidence, knowing my identity, and satisfying my purpose. The pounds I shed will be an outward reflection of the inner chains being broken over my life. Chains of fear and insecurity that have had me bound for so long. So I let His word be my confession as I press towards the mark. Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil. Proverbs 4: 25-27 (MSG) I’m in a process and I am DETERMINED to persevere!
Yes it does! Sometimes it’s not the truth that we are afraid of. It’s the PROCESS that we must go through in order to get to the truth. We seem to despise the breaking process because there is pain that is associated with it. I am learning to endure the pain of breaking in order to get to the pleasure of blessing! Thanks for your comment my friend.
So, for those of you reading this blog who find yourself in this very same place, change your focus and keep the faith. Though you may feel alone, you serve an ever present God. It’s not going to be easy, but in Him, it is possible. Your BLESSING will come after the BREAKING.
Photo(s)/Resource(s): Dion Davis