Masculine Christianity: Man Up, Men of God!

gladiator-movie-2Is this the image of Christian Men that comes to mind when you think of Christian Men??? Probably not! What was it in the films “300”, “Braveheart” and “Gladiator” that still appeals to men, so much so, that these films are stacked in thousands of men’s DVD collections at home?

I know what they represented to me…


Courage driven by a passion of values

In these films the heroes lost something they truly loved.  From that moment on, these characters set their faces like flint (à la Isaiah 50:7) and would not stop at anything until mission accomplished. I think every man wants to identify with heroes like those.  Every man wants to aspire to be just like them.  Gone are the days when Superman was the hero du jour.  Now… it’s PASSION over a cause that men want.  And I think it’s because men have had their passion over the years eroded by changes in our culture.

We have lost that, men.  We have been criticized, feminized, and mesmerized by intimidation coming our way.  Since the hippie movement in the 1960’s (not old enough not even close to know first hand), fighting for a cause was no longer a noble thing unless it was a fight against the establishment—any establishment, even if it was good.  Superman of the 80’s was taken out in the 90’s by a kryptonite of a generation of boys growing up in a society where being feminine and male are synonymous with one another. To be masculine is seen as being extreme, macho, or even mean to some.

Carrying yourself like a man won’t get you very far with the culture we live in. Even in many Christian churches, a boy looking feminine isn’t too abnormal. Parents say it’s just a phase, or they’ll grow out it, and perhaps they will; but why can’t that “phase” be one of biblical masculinity? Why is a phase always sinful and why do parents accept it?

We are a generation of men raised by women, and that includes me. But now is the tyme. Now is the tyme to recapture what we were placed on this earth for. If your boys are leaning toward the feminine look that’s popular for young men, like, skinny jeans and moms haircut, you should be asking yourself some basic questions like:

Who has your son’s heart?

Who are his primary influences?

Why isn’t his dad who he’s trying to emulate? (Assuming dad doesn’t wear skinny jeans and have moms haircut!)

And, is your son learning manhood from the word of God?

There are great passages of scripture that every son should learn from if his desire is to become a biblical man. I always tell young men to study the qualifications for Elders and Deacons laid out in 1 Tim. 3: 1-13, and Titus 1: 5-9, then set out to meet that criteria for their lives. One of my favorite verses, 1 Cor. 16:13, says, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (emphasis mine) And of course, I tell them to study the life of Christ, who is the ultimate example of manhood, and live a life that’s pleasing to Him.

Being masculine has nothing to do with height or weight either, because I know some out there have accused me of saying that all boys should fall into the jock/athlete model, and that’s not at all what I’m saying. He shouldn’t be a bully either, and he shouldn’t punch any guy out who didn’t deserve it. A biblical man is one who understands his position in the world and embraces his duty as a man. To abandon his position as a leader, a provider, a protector, or a priest, is to sin against God, and to sin against those he’s called to lead.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know some wonderful examples of young men who have risen above the mediocrity that culture sets forth for young men today, and have seen first hand what the Lord can do with those who truly desire to live Godly in an ungodly world. These young men come from households that take seriously the commandment to “bring up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4)

It takes work to raise Godly, masculine boys, and there may be some resistance along the way, because after all, their hearts are naturally inclined to resist God’s will for their life and embrace sin as the norm; but don’t lose heart, God’s grace is inexhaustible. I’m a prime example of someone who defied God’s will for my life through my teen years and beyond, and today, by His grace, and by His grace alone, I stand here encouraging others to lean on His word. Let’s not accept what seems to be the norm out there, rather, let’s redefine the norm with the word of God. You won’t be popular, and you might even take one for the team from time to time, but that’s okay, we need runners on base!

Man Up and Rise Up, Men of God.

I beg you, let the Christ in you, the Lion of Judah, wield the sword of Truth and lead your family by your courageous example.  Shun mediocrity and GO TO WAR!

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? YOU ARE A MIST that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

                                                                                                ~ James 4:13-14




Faith vs. Fear

faith-bigger-than-fearsToday I heard the quote “Let your faith be bigger than your fear”. Sounds simple enough, right? Then why is it so hard? Why are we so quick to turn to fear instead of prayer or faith? I find that I am most fearful when there are unknowns in my life. I like having a plan and knowing what is happening next. I think a lot of us are that way. So when something doesn’t go according to plan or I’m not sure of the next step to take, I often find myself turning to fear.

Unfortunately fear is not productive. In fact, I cannot think of a single time that unnecessary, anxiety ridden fear was exactly what I needed in the moment. What I needed was faith in something larger than myself. Faith that, even though I was not in control, someone or something much bigger was. You see, fear brings about anxiety and can be exhausting. However with faith comes courage and hope.
#3I know that it can be hard to turn to faith in moments of anxiety, fear, worry, and doubt. I know that it feels easier to rely on the things that seem more tangible. But I can promise you that if you allow your faith to become bigger than your fear, you can do amazing things!

Matthew 17:20 says “For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Romans 8:15 says “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship…”
MustardSeed (1)
A mustard seed is so tiny. Faith is so powerful, that even such a small amount is enough to do great things!. Choosing faith over fear has to happen again each day. So which will you choose? Being a slave to fear? Or a beacon of hope and fear?

* Resource(s) & Photo(s) courtesy of ©, Brooke

To Him That Overcomes God Will Restore

#overcoerI recently received a prophetic word that God was going to restore 7 -fold what the devil had taken. Great word! I was thrilled! Jumped up and down! Shared it with my pray team and now with my blog reading friends. I was very excited about it. It was the first word on restoration I had received in 3 years. For 3 years, it had been either silence or our words had been: “you are in the battle; God says you have been faithful”. Nothing revelational there! You know when you are in the battle. You don’t need a prophetic word to confirm it!

I knew the devil had stolen from me and my family. It was almost as if everything was been sucked down into this black hole of nothingness. As I am very much a stickler for it that if God speaks, I act!  I started to act on my prophetic word. I sat down and made a list of all that the devil had stolen. Not because I was greedy, just because I wanted a visual list in front of my eyes to be able to thank God for His 7- fold restoration every tyme I laid my eyes on the visual.

My “stolen goods list” looked along this line:

– Health (from been under constant stress)
– Peace of Mind
– Identity
– My Name
– My Reputation
– Desire/Drive to start my Ministry
– Houses
– Cars
– Money
– Tymepeices aka watches, TV’s, laptops, furniture
– I’m very tempted to list my hair! (long story)

But a strange emotion occurred when I started the list; I fell to my knees and started sobbing the presence of God.

I started my list was my mental health & stress related symptoms dealing with my Faith. I kept on hearing this quiet whisper: “but my Son has paid the price for your healing.” 1 Pet 2:24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness– by whose stripes you were healed.

REVELATION (yet again): You don’t need to pay MONEY for medication when Jesus paid the price in FULL FOR MY HEALING! ONLY BELIEVE!

The My Identity and Peace of Mind I had to deal with 6 years ago. I had to learn to live by faith. I was battling with a relationship in my life where I had felt blatantly rejected repeatedly over and over. Every couple of months I have an outburst and then I bring it back to the cross and ask God to take care of it. In his tyme God did.

#After writing the post “It is Finished”, I’ve been bringing a lot of areas to closure in my life and this was one of the areas I’d asked God to deal with because it was just to big for me to deal with. God was saying, I want you to rely on ME for your daily provision, and a roof over your head. The name and the reputation were sorted out by when I found the following scripture:

Isaiah 61:7 For your shame ye shall have double; …

It was a TOUGH LESSON to learn!

Another issue sorted! God was ticking them off my list at an alarming rate!

When the restoration word came, the Holy Spirit whispered: “do you really want to go back to the bondage of a salary, NO Identity, living in Moab? Do you really want to trade all the lessons you’ve learned living by faith for a lifestyle of just enough (salary) and of having a backup plan in case I don’t work in your tyme? (Unconditional Faith)”

My response was: but what happens if it all gets stolen (Peace of Mind, Identity, Desire/Drive to start my Ministry, My Name, My Reputation)!


“If the devil has stolen from you and you have learnt to live by faith, you are able to faith it all back! And once again, I will restore more that the devil took! What have you really lost?” was quietly offered as an answer.

The devil cannot truly rob me of my FAITH in God! His power is only what we give him!

As the Holy Spirit made mince meat of all of my “stolen goods to be restored 7 Fold” points, the only thing I came up with what had truly been stolen (BY FAITH God could heal and replace all of the rest, I only had to BELIEVE) was my RELATIONSHIPS! (& the Holy Spirit just proved to me once again that I did not know God well enough to trust Him to restore). The devil has stolen many of our relationships with family and friends.  The crux of my list left me once again realizing:


Only when I had started “seeking 1st the kingdom of God” had I received the promise of 7-fold restoration. Only once I started leading people to the Lord, praying for the sick, started preaching the good news of the Gospel, – all the things important to God, did the promise of restoration come.

Once my sights were focused on what God saw as important, PEOPLE, not just people, but where people would spend eternity, how I treated individuals, what words of life had come out of my mouth to sow life etc, He sorted out the rest. All else comes down to my faith level in “ONLY BELIEVE

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

The ultimate battle has already been won. Positionally, Satan is already defeated; but practically– as we learn the Word of God–we need to exercise that victory on a day-to-day basis.

First John 5:1-5 “Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God …. For whatever is born of God overcometh the world; and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.”

Overcomers are people born of God–people who have put their faith in Jesus Christ. When you place your faith in Christ, you are born of God and become a victor. The Greek word translated “overcomer” literally means “victor.” The verb form is nikao, and the noun form is nike. The verb means “to conquer,” “to have victory,” or “to have superiority“. It sometymes means “Matthew 6:33.”

The reality check I experienced was we all equate Restoration 7 – fold to Finance/Money! Even with all the lessons I’ve experienced in the last 7 years, I really needed to shift my thinking into “the mind of Christ” before thinking of “things to be added to me” Now, I can truly look forward to God restoring each and every relationship, and *SEVEN FOLD BONUS:

Look back over my life (in my best Fred Hammond voice). When I first meet my wife we dated for about 7 weeks. 7 years later we rekindled our relationship, I courted her and obviously you got married. In out first year we were separated for about 7 months and almost divorced. Through wise counseling we renewed out 7th wedding anniversary Thanksgiving 2012. And thanks be to God 7 years after almost breaking up what God put together, my wife and I are pregnant with our first child (Ava Camille).

To God Be the GLORY!

Meat, Milk, and Malnourishment

milk90One of the greatest critiques of this modern day church is it’s malnourished. Some would even say it’s our most pressing problem.

When most people voice this complaint, the focus is on the worship experience. 

From people who leave these churches, you hear, “I wasn’t getting fed.” Or, “I just want some deeper teaching.” From people outside these churches you hear, “Too much milk, not enough meat.” In some cases, I’m sure this is true. But I really don’t think that’s the real problem.

Yes, Christians are malnourished. But I don’t believe it has anything to do with milk or meat.

Most Christians aren’t malnourished because of what they’re getting fed on Sunday. They’re malnourished because they are to lazy to deepen their relation with their father and feed themselves Monday through Saturday.

So what!!! you had filet mignon on Sunday and learned about the mystical union of Christ and the church as it relates to the rapture and the design of the tabernacle in relation to Levitical dietary laws as understood by the Council of Trent.

Good for you.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about GO TO BIBLE STUDY or

look in you Bible Concordance {that’s in the back of you bible!}

Have fun starving yourself the rest of the week and letting your pastor read the Bible so you don’t have to. So you had some milk on Sunday and learned 37 ways to ________. Have fun having 37 new ways to not obey God during the coming week.

The crisis facing the church today isn’t what people are getting fed on Sundays.

It’s what they’re not feeding themselves the rest of the days. Who really cares whether you consume meat or milk on Sunday if it’s the only meal you have all week? I’m not saying this to get pastors and churches off the hook.

It is the shepherd’s job to feed the sheep (John 21). And feed them well based on their needs and faith development. But it’s also the sheep’s job to eat:

13 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Hebrews 5:13-14

Here’s the point. Churches: We have a responsibility. We should serve up the Word, hot and fresh every single Sunday. As church leaders, it is our job to create and sustain processes and systems that responsibly enable people to grow in their faith after receiving Christ.

People in our churches: you also have a responsibility. If you refuse to study the Word, apply it, pray some during the week, join a small group and dig deeper with others, there’s not much we can do to help you. Your malnourishment won’t be cured by anything we give you on Sunday.

So are you an infant and need milk? Drink it for now, but the only way you’re getting more mature and will be ready for meat is by training yourself. Constantly. Do you want meat? From these verses, it seems like meat is doing the milk. On your own. Constantly.

Not getting it served to you once a week.



*Photo(s)/Resource(s): Steven Furtick

ROBBING GOD? Tough Questions for Non Tithers

“If anyone making the vow is too poor to pay the specified amount, he is to present the person to the priest, who will set the value for him according to what the man making the vow can afford.”  Leviticus 27:8

sumber-http-sosbud-kompasiana-com-2010-05-21-cest-la-viepenjambret-dan-koruptorBeing the “FD” of my church, I see first hand the need for this and this is one of the few tymes maybe I see something even before my Pastor. It usually happens at the beginning of a church year. Sometyme in February, just after people have started to breathe again after Christmas & start dream about the tax refund. It’s pretty predictable, though still important.  What is it?  It’s the annual stewardship sermon, the message on giving and tithing and all the rest. So now you should have guessed yes I’m the church’s Finance Director. In general, the stewardship sermon comes out of somewhere like Malachi. After all, that passage talks about Israel’s unwillingness to bring their tithes to the Lord.  The Malachi passage even speaks of not giving faithfully in terms of stealing from or robbing God.

Well, Malachi is not the only place we find such a concept.  Right here, in the end of Leviticus, something very interesting jumps off the page.  In chapter 27, God reveals his standards for tithes to the Israelites.  The passage today does not condone breaking our vows to the Lord, rather, it was given so that when the Israelites did not intend to fulfill their vow, they could redeem it back at a very high price (which, by the way, may seem awkward to us putting different price tags on human beings but thank you, Jesus, for being our Redeemer buying us back from death with His blood… that’s putting a priceless tag on all of us!).

Tithing is that biblical practice described in Leviticus that in those days involved setting apart—or making holy—one-tenth of one’s agricultural produce, herds and flocks for God’s purposes. In fact, this one-tenth was said to belong to God. Today, the tithe involves other resources like our money, for example. And in our context, the tithe is given to support the work of the church. Now it’s interesting to me that if we look up the word tithing in the Dictionary of New Testament Theology, which is a reference book containing explanatory articles on every significant word in the New Testament, we’ll find on the page after the article on tithing, an article under the heading, torment. When one pastor noticed this, he thought to himself: Tithing and torment—now that’ll preach!1_

When I think about it however like during stewardship campaigns–and I consider how much I give and how I handle my money and possessions and I take into account how I feel about all of these things I come to a disturbing realization. How many of you have ever seen the cable TV show called Intervention? Intervention takes us into the world of substance abusers and the interventions that their loved ones arrange so that the abusers can be confronted with their addictions in the hope that each of the addicts will make a choice for health and wholeness. In almost every case, there is some level of torment involved as the addict confronts the reality of addiction. And then the addict has to make a choice—either to take a step toward health and wholeness by going into rehab—or to suffer the consequences of continued addiction.

tithe2s2So what does all of this have to do with tithing? Well, it seems to me that tithing is a disciplined step toward liberation and health. Now I realize that biblically speaking, it’s hard to get an exact fix on the tithe. As one commentator has noted, tithing was understood and practiced differently at different tymes and localities through the Biblical period.2 One of the hardest things for most of us to do is give up our money–especially ten percent of it.  Yet, this is what God asks of us, that we tithe, or give up ten percent of our earnings, to the church (Proverbs 3:9).

The Israelites could not simply leave the vow unfulfilled.  The prices were set before-hand to make the people think before committing.  Some doctor’s offices have the rule in place that if you commit to an appointment and don’t show up, you have to pay $25. This makes you think before committing to the appointment and it makes you think before just not showing up.  Have you ever made a financial commitment to the Lord or a commitment to serve and did not fulfill your vow?  Think about the importance that God places on keeping your word and how you can apply that to your life the next tyme you make a commitment to the Lord.

One interesting element of the tithe was that, if for some reason a person did not want to give what God had specifically required, he could redeem his tithe.  So, for example, if a person did not want to give a tenth of his grain, he could pay a proper amount to God in order to keep the grain. Now, here is what got my attention.  If an Israelite wanted to redeem his tithe, he had to pay the monetary value of the tithe, but he also had to add one fifth to the value.

If you look back also at Leviticus 6, what you will see is that this 120% figure is also used in cases—get this—of robbery.  If I stole something from you, I was required to repay 120% of the value of what I stole. Is it not interesting, then, that God required a 120% payment for anything that the Israelite did not wish to give in his tithe?  What it tells us is that the person who refuses to give to God what God requires steals from God.  We definitely don’t want to be guilty of that.

Now this is how one modern-day tither expresses it: There are lots creditors who want a piece of me and my paycheck. There are all sorts of other concerns that compete for my attention and my money. But I write out my check to the church first, before I pay anything else. It is my way of saying that I belong to God before anybody else can get a piece of me.3

tithingNow to me this sounds like freedom and it sounds like health. And besides, tithing calls us to thankfulness and to celebration. The scriptures provide us examples God’s people giving their tithes in an atmosphere of thanksgiving and celebration— which—in my book—are signs of freedom and health. Our obedience in financial stewardship reveals a maturity of character that God treasures. When we honor Him with our financial obedience, He blesses us. “And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the LORD of hosts.” (Malachi 3:12–for context, read Malachi 3:10-18) Obedience opens up opportunities for God to bless us.  Just as a responsible parent would not reward a disobedient child, God cannot reward us when we do not obey Him.  If you are struggling financially, it could be a result of financial disobedience.

This is not the only reason we experience financial difficulty, certainly, but it can be one reason. God doesn’t want us to give so much for His sake as for our own. He wants us to be obedient and give Him opportunities to bless us. He wants us to trust Him to meet our needs. He wants us to be disciplined and mature so that we are more useful in His service. He wants us to take responsibility for our Christian family and support our churches. He could do all these things on His own without our money but what would we learn? Does a child learn to take care of himself if his parent does everything for him? Of course not God is our good parent and He works to raise us right so that we can stand on our own feet with Him.

Now, as a matter of disclaimer, my goal here is not to get legalistic about the tithe.  My intent is, however, to say that a Christian who refuses to give to God freely, sacrificially, and proportionally has a major problem with how he or she relates to God.  Such truth is clear throughout the Scripture.

*Photo(s)/Resource(s):  Travis Peterson, __”The Top Five Reasons Why I Don’t Tithe.” Speaking of stewardship model sermons on money and possessions. Louisville, Ky: Geneva, 1998. 59. Print. __Tithe.” The HarperCollins Bible Dictionary. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1996. 1157. Print.

Men Are Like Waffles, God Is Like Spaghetti!

@How do I make good decisions? What does God really want from me? Does God care about every little choice I make? The big question behind all of these questions, of course, is this: What’s God’s will for my life?

If you ask the average Christian in the pew and they will concede that they passionately desire to know what God is up to in their lives. They want to know God’s plan, His will for their Life. So they can better lead their lives. Yet at the same tyme they will admit their frustrations in seeking it, that their fears creep in saying they cannot live it. Or that it may be just too hard to find. And if you ask them again what they think that will be they will utter several self-doubting answers.

Seek first the kingdom of God…” Matthew 6:33-34

Asking the question, what does God want me to do, is the starting point, and the focus of the will of God! In the quest to understand petitionary prayer continues as I share one more ides about God’s will.  While trying to figure out what to make my wife & me for dinner the other night, I caught an image that helped me understand His will more than ever before. 

Men Are Like Waffles; God’s Will Is Like Spaghetti.

Of course, food metaphors abounded, but I asked people to really think deeper. It’s funny since it’s been a few weeks or so after listening to Bill & Pam Farrell’s’ book Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti?  Yes I know Audio books are for lazy people, but it was free & I’m frugal! Us men our brains are literally like waffles, we (men) like to work in compartments, finish a task move on; finish a conversation, move on; deal with something move on. Not so, from my experience, with women. You could be having 4 conversations at once, dealing with 3 crises, and working on 7 projects . . . Not that one is better than the other; it’s just how we operate.

But God’s will is figuratively like spaghetti, but I suppose it’s also literal. God’s like a big, ole, mile long buffet of spaghetti. If he were like a waffle, think about how long we’d have to wait in line to pray. I haven’t lost my mind entirely; hang with me.   God’s will is exactly the same, yet entirely different While in the shower today, I caught an image that helped me understand His will more than ever before now I’ll use spaghetti as an illustration.

  • God is cooking dinner.  No matter what, dinner is happening today.  He will ask some of us to help, but his plan is not contingent upon our participation.  Regardless of our cooperation, dinner will be served.  If He’s going to do the work anyway, why help?  We can bond.  Our relationship will be strengthened.  He’ll be happy that someone is offering to lend a hand.  This is God’s providential will.
  • In order for spaghetti to be spaghetti, you need noodles and red sauce.  If you remove the noodles or the tomato sauce, it’s not longer spaghetti.  This is God’s moral will.  Think of the 10 commandmentsthey’re always the same… unchanging.  Like it or not, spaghetti is spaghetti, and that’s what God is serving for dinner.
  • God’s personal will is where petitionary prayer begins to shine.  Dinner is served. We all have a big ole plate of the best spaghetti ever; however God didn’t sprinkle parmesan on top.  When I ask for fresh parm, I’m tapping into God’s personal will.  If he has some in the fridge, he’ll give it to me.  If I ask for Blue Cheese, God will probably be like, “Umm, no.  That is disgusting and you may not ruin this Holy spaghetti with that rancid cheese.”  All we have to do is ask.  If it doesn’t ruin the meal He’s prepared, don’t you think he’ll allow us to have it?

In some areas of life it’s clear that there are right decisions and wrong decisions—like the choice of whether to sprinkle Parmesan, or Blue Cheese? In other areas, we need to make choices between two good things—like making a decision between two great churches to join? It’s quite possible God would be present in and honored by either decision. Other tymes the choice may have to do with a gray area—something that’s not necessarily right or wrong.

Also, we need to remember God is our Father. God is not here to condemn us, but to help us become more like Christ. If we are focused on Jesus, and on holiness, some of those other things will fall into place. We’ll repeatedly find ourselves trying to solve million piece puzzles when we rarely get to see more than a dozen pieces. We walk in a constant fog, making life and death decisions, knowing nearly nothing. So whenever the Almighty reveals his mind, we should erupt with the joy of a man lost in a minefield suddenly finding a marked trail. At last the light has shone. At last infinite knowledge has reached us in infinite love. We should rush to obey, treasuring the slightest hint of God’s will, like the last drop of water in a desert. Or the final slurp of spaghetti & sauce or waffle & syrup! And the church said

Bon Appétit

 *Resource :RebeccaTatum

Husband Love Your Wife Sacrificially As Christ Loved the Church…

Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.

                                Love Your Wife Sacrificially
                                So She Blooms as God Planned
                                Love your wife (25a)

So did you know that there are Biblical commands for husbands? Husbands have responsibilities to love and honor their wives. Would you like to be a husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the Church…


  1. “Love your wife as Christ loved the Church.”(Ephesians 5:25) Risk your life to help or save your wife. Christ’s love for the church is without limits, nothing is held back. He gave His life for the church – before you loved Him. His love does not depend on your love for Him. Under God‘s authority – love your wife as service–as giving your life to God.
  2. “Love your wife in the same way you love your body and your life.”(Ephesians 5:28-33) You care for your body daily to be as well fed and healthy as possible. You quickly take care of any needs or desires. Any sexual desire as a husband should be cared for with your wife. In the same way, care for your wife’s needs and well being. Feel your wife’s pain and illness and rejoice in her health as if it were your own life. A husband must see his wife’s sexual desires and make supreme efforts to meet those needs too. Basically, her need or desire whether financial, physical, emotional or spiritual in your relationship must receive your full effort. Only in this way can you love her and provide for her just as well as you do for yourself.
  3. “Be considerate as you live with your wife, with respect …”(I Peter 3:7) The Bible says that if we neglect this command, our prayers will be hindered! To be considerate, quit any irritating habits! When she needs to be helped carrying heavy items, do it! If she needs tyme you can take care of the family! Help your wife with all of your energy, show your love to her with all consideration. Pray to see where you may be inconsiderate.
  4. “Do not be harsh with your wife.”(Colossians 3:19) When a wife is sensitive realize that harsh answers, angry looks, irritated tones of voice and impatience will deeply affect your wife. Rejoice that she is a lady and isn’t like you – remember that she is a precious gift God has given you.
  5. “The husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.”(I Corinthians 7:3-5) Please your wife physically. Don’t deprive her of what she needs. Sexual pleasure is something that is given, not forced or taken. Discuss what her needs are both inside and outside of the bedroom.
  6. “Rejoice in your wife all your life. Let her body satisfy you. Be captivated with her.”(Proverbs 5:18-19) No man should look at other women or pictures of other women when he has a wife on whom he can gaze daily. A husband should become fully satisfied with his wife’s body. No matter what the size or shape, if a man will let it happen, and ask God to help him, he can grow to truly find his wife’s breasts to be the most attractive in the world. This is the true spirit of being captivated with your wife. Such a wife will feel sexy, attractive, and most of all, ladylike.
  7. “And that women may be dressed in simple clothing, with a quiet and serious air; not with vanity about her hair and gold or jewels or expensive clothing;”(1 Timothy 2:9) Encourage your wife to be modest in public and erotic in private with you. A modest woman is a lady. There is much sin and temptation that results from women showing too much skin in public. Just think of the pleasure of knowing that no one sees too much of your wife’s legs but you! You will be shocked at how this one maneuver will increase your feelings of masculinity and her feelings of femininity.
  8. “Do not be captivated by other women.”(Proverbs 5:20) Finding other women attractive and looking at them will erode your own view of your wife. You will be less satisfied with her and she will feel less special to you. No man can build a habit of glances without subconsciously doing it in his wife’s company. And she will notice. Remember to be captivated with your wife and no one else. She will feel like the Queen of the world and you will fall further in love with her.
  9. “Call your wife ‘blessed’ and praise her.”(Proverbs 31:28-29) Tell her that she is special and is greater than any other woman on earth. Don’t just mention her physical beauty, but her care for you, her hard work, and her ladylike attributes. Watch the flower of your wife blossom as you repeatedly fill her ears with your praises. She longs for those words and she wants to hear them from you! Of course you don’t need pride, but that does not change the wife’s need and longing to be treasured.
  10. “Tell your wife how captivated you are with her body.”(Song of Solomon 4:7; 7:1-8) A true lover will make sure that his wife knows that he finds no flaw in her. God made your wife. God makes no mistakes. If you find a part of her body flawed, then it is your mind that needs to be changed. The responsibility upon the man to grow to love and express love for every part of his wife and also to respectfully and sensually tell her so. It will not help to criticize her or to be sarcastic. Think of how good she will feel when both you and she truly believe that you are enamored with every part of her!
  11. “Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way.”(Hebrews 13:4) Jesus says that “lustful looks are adultery.”(Matthew 5:28) This is similar to “because where your treasure is there will your heart be also…”(Luke 12:34). Do not treasure such lustfulness in any area of life, but deny it access to you heart. Keep your marriage pure by training your heart and eyes to be true to your wife. Your marriage will reap huge benefits if you do!
    • Thank the Lord for beauty and appreciate it but keep your eye, joy, mind and heart for the wife.
  12. “Be thankful for your wife and realize the favor you have received from God.”(Proverbs 18:22) Just think of how lonely you would be without a wife. Adam was alone and it wasn’t good for him to be alone, so God gave him a wife. You have a lifetyme companion, a friend, and a lover to enjoy every day. What a blessing! Thank God and pray for her daily. She is a tremendous “prize” from God.
  13. “Be one flesh with your wife in every way.”(Matthew 19:5) Enjoy life with her as if you were inseparable, but live your life thoughtfully. Long to be with her like you did when you first met. Rush home from work to her. Think about her during the day. Call her every day. Learn as a couple to agree: be like minded. Enjoy intimacy and sex often. You should have sex as often as is necessary to meet the desires of whichever spouse has the stronger sex drive, and as schedules and health permit. Spend tyme just talking and sharing the day’s events. Show a genuine interest – listening intently – giving your full attention and eye contact. Your wife is more important than anything or anyone but Jesus Christ. Be as one with your wife.
*Photo(s)/Resources: Paul Washer & Edited by Garshepp, BriDGeT, Lillian May, MA and 16 others