The Dad Chronicles of Pregnancy (19 weeks)

Daddy’s Log, Stardate 18 weeks, 6 days, 3 hours & counting: Having come to our third doctor’s appointment at the OBGYN office for my wife’s & mine pregnancy. We are officially one day away from 19 weeks. Today we journey pass the borders of the unknown and found out what we are Xenomorphhaving a (Klingon or Ewok)? I’m just joking it’s a Xenomorph (an endoparasitoid extraterrestrial species that is the primary antagonist of the Alien film series). HEY! Wouldn’t that be awesome? A high-yellow Xenomorph with hazel eyes and dimples! But I digress! But the force is strong in my young padawan! Their cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life-form!

My wife won’t let me say, she’s planning a HUGE reveal party this weekend so I can’t tell you just yet.

As soon as we got there she checked in and when the receptionist at the OBGYN office calls our name to come my wife did the usual HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY dance.

Skipping man gif

I was like WHOA! We were called back so quick I didn’t even get a chance to brace myself for what I thought I was about to see. Prior to this appointment, the ultrasound process consist of a device that looked like a “Mr. Microphone” and the nurse would insert it into my wife’s “NO NO) place. Much to my delight, I never saw a device that looked like a microphone, and there was no awkward moment with my wife’s vagina hanging out. She simply unbuttoned her jeans, and the nurse spread the warm jelly-substance onto her belly. Ironically, it looked a little like the substance that got us into this whole mess too begins with.

The Sonographer then rubbed the external ultrasound device until she found this small black blob, well actually it look like static from an old black and white TV. Like when TV went off the air after the Johnny Carson show. That’s what the Jay Leno show was called before Jay Leno. We didn’t always have 24/7 cable (If your too young to understand that TV actually went off the off after 12 midnight, Google it!)

Apparently our baby was hanging out but decided to start sliding all over the place trying to hide from us. The nurse said basically our baby is inside there and couldn’t slide to far, she was going to get their pictures. Then the sonographer told us to look closely at their little feet, figures, toes, arms, we even got mooned! One picture it looked like they were weaving at us or maybe they were giving us the bird, it was hard for me to tell? Then came the BIG moment, the nurse OKAY your baby’s gender is….

I told you in the beginning of this blog, my wife you KILL ME DEAD if I revealed the gender before her reveal party. But I will say it’s a 50/50 chance it’s a boy or girl. lol!

Isn’t XXXX cute? 18 WEEK 6 DAYS

Don’t wish your baby was hot like mine?!?! Don’t ya?!?!

Below are a series of pithy comments illustrated with well-chosen GIFs. (For the uninitiated, GIFs are those funny little animated images you’ll sometimes come across on the web. They tells my journey of his wife’s pregnancy through the last 19 weeks!

I’m going to be in trouble when she see these! Keep me in prayer!

When I poke fun at my pregnant wife but she’s had enough of my shenanigans. She’s like:

Throwing computer gif

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When I hear a name I really like and suggest it to my wife as the name of our future child and she says “Uh, no.” It feels like:

tumblr ma7kbgojXT1rn88ts Dad chronicles pregnancy on hilarious blog

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When we told our friends and family we were pregnant we’re all like:

Nznpx Dad chronicles pregnancy on hilarious blog

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When, in the heat of an argument, I suggest that maybe my pregnant wife’s hormones are the reason why she’s angry with me … and when that last word comes out, I realize what I just said. I’m like:

PW3F8 Dad chronicles pregnancy on hilarious blog

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When I take the lead from my pregnant wife and try describing the stroller & crib we’re looking for to the people at Babies R Us. It’s like:

Being wrong gif

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When I come across a conversation on Facebook between two women about trying to get pregnant and one mentions cervical mucus and I go and Google it. I’m like

irmmG Dad chronicles pregnancy on hilarious blog

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When I tickle my pregnant wife but she can’t get up because her baby belly is in the way. She’s like:

Realization dog

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When the BabyCenter.com weekly update includes a video of a delivery in it and my pregnant wife encourages me to watch. I’m like:

Conan Obrien gif

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